Change

Isn't it weird how the same heart that once loved you is now the heart that hates you. 

The person you once had so many feelings toward is the person you can look at now and feel absolutely nothing.

The one that did the impossible to get you not longer has the interest in you or put the effort in fighting for you. 

That one person you had so much to talk about with is the person you barely have conversations with 

Well as life goes on, feelings change and so do people along the way. 

Some change to the better, others to the worse.

It sucks when the one person you wish never changed ends up changing to the worse. 

Its even worse when one day you wake up to a completely different person. 

I tried my very best to get you back. 

I tried more that i should have

But did it work? 

Sometimes you've just got to accept the things that you can't change even though its never easy

Walk away from what doesn't make you happy and remember God will never take away anything from you without the intention of replacing it with something better. 

Leave a comment xx

Heres to the...

Heres to the betrayers, doubters, bullies and haters. 
The ones thats don't see beyond the horizon. 
The blank idiots that think what their told to think or do what others do. 
You surely have challenged me and pushed me forward.  

Heres to the people that love us. 
The people that always manage to wear a smile on their face no matter how tough their life is.
The strong ones that refuse to be knocked down.
The trouble makers that break all the rules.
The crazy ones that will change the world one day. 
The ones that see things differently and don't have a care about what 'society' thinks or says. 

Heres to the people that misses someone deep down when they know they shouldn't.
Heres to the things left unsaid and the thoughts left unexpressed. 
To the people that have gotten their heartbroken by a person that doesn't even know they existed.
To the people that are madly in love with someone that doesn't love them back.
To the people that get hurt, yet manage to get back up with a smile. 
To the hopeless romantics and daydreamers that have stopped believing in happily ever afters. 

Heres to the girls that don't catch everyones attention at first.
To the girls that someday will get the ending they see in movies.
To the girls that stay strong when they have every reason to break down and cry.

Heres to the losers that have lost us.
The people that have pushed us away.
The people that have taken us for granted.
One day you'll come crying back.

Heres to the good things that still haven't happened. 
To the lucky people that still haven't met you.
To the memories waiting to be made.

After all heres to the future, because i'm so over the past.


Writing this actually made me feel better!!!
Leave a comment x

Things i've learned

A list of things i've learned this year:

* Life goes on wether you like it or not
* People change, even the ones you love
* Forever lasts only for 1 to 2 years 
* People you were once attached to eventually turn out to be strangers
* Complaining takes you no where, instead get up and do something about it 
* Jealousy does not kill because if it does we would all be dead. In fact jealousy just gives you an uneasy/suffocating feeling
* When people ask you whats wrong, they don't care. Their just nosy or bored
* Love does not last so don't kill yourself if your lover leaves you
* Promises are broken in a blink of an eye 
* People rarely mean what they say nowadays 
* Trusting people these days is impossible 
* Happiness is a choice and so is depression 
* Thinking about people that have forgotten you is a waste of brain cells, therefore you should forget the people that forgot you 
* People push away good things that would've actually lasted 
* Listening to depressing music just makes everything 10 times worse
* When something knocks you down, get up right away and comeback as a stronger person 
* Don't take revenge. Let God do his job and punish them with something worse
* Showing a person you're happy even after all the pain they've caused you is the best way to kill them 
* Fear no one but God (and your parents of course)
* Value the people that are still in your life and haven't left
* Do good to get good 
* Do for others even if they wont do anything for you in return 
* Smiling helps 
* Don't ever question or doubt yourself 
* Don't get attached to anyone. Specially not to the people in this messed up generation 
* Instead of crying when you're sad, eat. 
* Find good in every bad
* Keep your head high, no matter what life throws at you 
* Don't lower your standard because you're surrounded by shallow people 
* Never lower what you're worth. Remember you deserve the best 
* Don't put you happiness in temporary things you might lose and definitely don't put your happiness in people because they all end up walking away
* People hate seeing you do better than them so use that as a motivation to continue 
* Let it go if it doesn't make you smile 
* Don't give up on your hopes 

I've actually learned and realised all the points mentioned above!


Yup it was a very random post but anything to avoid studying math haha!
Leave a comment xx

Internal conflict

  All along i've been fighting in a war thats been taking place within me. Day and night, back and forth continuously fighting myself. Isolated from the rest of the world because I'm to busy drowning in these endless thoughts that were slowly killing me. It was my brain against my heart and you were the reason behind this war. 

  My brain was always known to be the smart one. I always knew the decisions made by my mind were the right decisions. But then my weak heart always chose your side. Even when it wasn't suppose to...

  My mind always knew the right from wrong. Always knew the truth from lies. It always knew your love was a lie and kept telling me to let go since it knew you were no good. My mind also told me you're going to hurt me really badly and leave me hanging. It told me to stop trying so hard to make things right when I wasn't really they only one you had. As we all know, my mind was right but did I listen to it? of course not.

  On the other hand, my heart knew my weak point. My heart knew i'd take any excuse to just be with you and continue loving you. My heart told me to continue trying no matter how rough this relationship gets and i did. My heart told me you still love me even though you stopped showing it, and i believed that but it was a lie. My weak heart told me to hang onto you and never let you go because i've come this far. My heart told me to care and I ended up caring a bit to much and well that left me heartbroken..

  I kept listening to my heart for a very long time, even after i've been put down continuously. I still followed my heart until one day I couldn't accept it anymore. I just could't continue forgiving you each time and let you hurt me more and more and look away from it, I just couldn't.

  "I told you so" yelled my brain. "Heart was right only for so long, but after awhile you should've been  smart enough to accept it and walk away WHEN YOU KNEW THE TRUTH ALL ALONG"

  Sometimes you need to push your feelings and emotions away and think logically. Don't let the way you feel control you. If you know whats the right decision then make it, even if its going to be tough adjusting to. Act towards it before it gets to late. 


So who do you listen to? brain or heart?
Leave a comment please x


  

BLANK

The colours around me faded to grey as i watch you walk away

My chest tightening making it hard for me to breath, I said to myself he's really leaving 

As i watched you walk away, becoming smaller and disappearing into the crowd, a flash back of memories we share hit my head

No longer able to see you in sight, tears came streaming down my eyes

At that moment i felt something I've never felt before, a strong burn in my heart

Giving up on everything i walked away to

Going crazy alone locked up in my room

Crying to myself saying "i still love u" like I wished you would hear me and know its true, 

middle of the night and no more tears to cry, is this what it feels like to have a broken heart?

Your face slowly faded into my mind again, I couldn't help but want you more than anything. 

You walking away was like a dagger to my heart

But knowing you'll never come back was good enough to drain me out completely. 

Blessed Friday 

Leave a comment x

Im sick and tired....

Im sick and tired of being taken for granted 
Im sick and tired of being stepped on 
Im sick and tired of being ignored 

Im sick and tired of being hurt over and over again
Im sick and tired of hoping for the better when nothing good has still happened
Im sick and tired of acting like I'm happy because the truth is I'm not

Im sick and tired of forgiving you everyday for your mistakes 
Im sick and tired of thinking you'll change
Im sick and tired of loving you so much because I feel like its all gone to waste 

Im sick and tired of being there for you when you're never in sight for me 
Im sick and tired of waiting, even when i know sometimes you wont come back 
Im sick and tired of going through sleepless nights, wide awake just thinking about 'this'

Im sick and tired of looking away from the mess you've made 
Im sick and tired of you throwing words at me that had the power to kill 
Im sick and tired of questioning your love to me 

Im sick and tired of trying to please you 
Im sick and tired of trying to be the person you want to be 
Im sick and tired of believing your lies and all those promises gone to waste 

Im sick and tired of sacrificing things just to see you smile
Im sick and tired of telling you "Im done" and then continue fighting 
Im sick and tired of being alone without you by my side 

Yes, Im sick and tired of all of this (mostly you)  but I don't think ill stop
I'll continue doing everything mentioned above until one day my head would just pop 
Call me stupid and weak for running behind you
But you'll realise all the things you did wrong the day I'm no longer here.



Yes, I had to take my anger out by writing this!
What do you think? 
PLEASE take 2 seconds of your time to leave a comment after reading. x

Its time..

After along day, I sat down on bed and my thoughts drifted far away. I realised the amount of change that has taken place in this past year and it left me in shock. 
My thoughts then drifted to you.. to the thoughts that have the ability to tear me apart each time. 
I started to wonder why am I still holding on? Theres nothing but emptiness between us after all. I mean, you've let go along time ago and I probably don't matter anymore right?
The funny part is even after knowing that, I still seem to be holding on and fighting for 'us'. 
Thinking about the amount of trouble you've put me through, I asked myself why am I still in love with you? All the tears i've cried for you that has probably gone to waste right..
They say that if a person truly loves you and needs you in their life, then they would do the impossible to prove that to you and keep you. But hey, what have you done other than push me away day by day? All the little things you could've considered doing just to prove I still matter. Instead your actions kept punching me harder and harder. 
I then whispered to myself and asked "Did I even matter at all? Or was I just another one". 
Sadly yes I guess, I was just another one. I was just another joke. 
Looking up to push my tears away, I smiled and told myself "Its their loss for loosing a person with a golden heart."

Yes, I miss you and still think about you. But I also think its time to let go of you and the sweet memories and move on now. 
After all its about knowing when to keep fighting and when to let go. Accepting life for what it is and not for what you wished it was. 


Sooo.....What do you think?x

I can't..

I just can't imagine someone laying down on bed thinking about me.
I can't imagine someone having these scenes about me in their head wishing one day it would come true.
I can't imagine someone daydreaming about me or even crossing their mind.

I just can't imagine someone smiling when they see a message from me. 
I can't imagine someone wanting to speak to me all night long and not wanting to stop. 
I can't imagine someone staring at their phone checking if i've replied or not. 
I can't imagine someone waiting for me to start the conversation with them and getting upset if I didnt 

I just can't imagine being 'the only thing' on someones mind. 
I can't imagine someone speaking about me continuously to their friends.
I can't imagine someone being 'crazy' about me. 

I just can't imagine someone getting butterflies in their stomach because I hugged them. 
Or even just looked at them for a few seconds. 
I can't imagine making someones entire day just because i complimented them. 

I dont know, I just can't....


This was a random piece.
Leave a comment and tell me what you think x