Actions mean everything

She might come off as a strong, indestructible person 

and play hard to get 

but theres a reason behind that

theres a reason behind the way she acts and portrays herself to others

She's been through rough and unpleasant days

Felt things that were beyond her belief

Seen a few things that caused a change in her attitude 

Yes, she has been there and done it all

Yes, she's cold, shows no emotion and has a heart as hard as a rock

but thats only because she once cared a bit too much about a person who failed to care back. 

She cared about a person that dashed all her hopes

That lead her to build a tower made out of stones around her heart to keep it safeguarded and away from any further damage.

People have come up to her and told her they're different 

but she's been fooled by words before and refuse to be fooled by it again

she refuses to believe it until its been proven 

she refuses to believe in words 

since actions mean everything to her now.

Don't forget to leave a comment x

--No title--

Drowning in a sea of depressing thoughts

She crawls into a ball under her blanket and wishes to close her eyes for the last time

She wished to not feel anything 

To not exist 

To die

Because she's just tired of all these long, lonely sleepless nights

She just couldn't deal with hiding the pain anymore

Crying all the time

Forever feeling empty, worthless and numb

Faking a smile every time that she forgot what it feels like to actually smile 

Over thinking every situation 

Not having anyone to open up to 

Because they either judge her

Or don't understand where she's coming from

Not being able to trust anyone, because they all end up disappointing her

Loving the wrong people

Hiding from society to avoid being criticised and judged

Always feeling like she's cursed with misery

Never being able to do anything right

Yes, all of that hurts.

It hurts like hell.

And saying you understand won't change a thing 

Because you don't understand 

You don't get it 

You'll never get it

Until you've walked in her shoes 

And been through the same shit. 

I'm not emo I swear :-D

Leave a comment x

-No title-

You know whats the problem with people nowadays? 

They're all users 

They love you until they've got everything they need then they throw you away like you never meant anything to them

They "miss you" only when they're bored or have no one to speak to

They forget all the times you've stood by their side when everyone was against them. 

They've forgotten when you were there as a friend because they had no one. 

They've also forgotten when you were the only one that accepted them for who they REALLY are without judging and leaving after knowing the real story

You see thats the problem

Once people give them a bit of attention

They completely forget the ONLY person that was there for them when no one gave any attention at all. 

You eventually end up as a 'nobody' to them

And they obviously don't care if you're left heart broken or not

As long as they're happy then nothing else matters to them

They move on with their lives 

While you're stuck in the same place thinking about what happened

But hey what can we do other than accept it and move on right?

After all non of these people are worth our time and energy

So let them be and forget the ones that forget you 

Because soon it will hit them 

And they will come crawling back to you 

Thats just how people these days are, sad isn't it? 

Leave a comment x

Imperfectly perfect

Listen carefully 

She's not perfect, neither are you. 

She doesn't have the perfect body or looks

She's full of flaws and mistakes  

She's done things she regret and might not have the best past 

She gets crazy mood swings and gets out of control at times

Most of the time she's twisted and hard to understand 

She's not the most romantic person out there 

She won't quote poetry to you or send you all these cute messages

Nor will she obsess/think about you every moment of the day 

But i guarantee you she will love you to her fullest potential 

She'll love you with what she has 

She'll hand you a part of her thats very fragile 

She'll hand you her heart knowing theres a chance you might break it like the others did

So when she does,

Don't hurt her

Don't change her to the person you want 

Don't expect more than what she can give

Don't judge her

Or compare her to other girls you know 

There will be times she'll make you angry 

Times she'll do things that might upset you 

But then there definitely will be times she'll love you and make you feel special 

Appreciate those times because you'll miss it when she's not there

Love her as much as possible 

Don't let little things get in between 

Because again, she's only human like you 

Perfect girls don't exist

But there will always be one person thats perfect for you 

And when you find that person, never let them go. 

Please leave a comment x 

Untitled

Surrounded by a group of people

She sat there with a vibrant smile plastered across her face. Chattering away and laughing along.  

"I've never seen someone filled with so much joy," I thought to myself. 

At first glance you would think she's a high-spirited girl without a single care in the world. 

That's what YOU think. 

When she sat there quietly not interacting with anyone.

Her facial expression changed completely. 

Her bright smile slowly changed into a depressed frown. 

Her big diamond-like eyes seemed to reveal so much pain and sadness. 

Like she and a thousand things going on in her head

As soon as the person next to her started speaking to her, she snapped back to reality. 

That stressful look on her face disappeared and was replaced with an artificial-like smile once again. 

I knew she wasn't really happy.

I knew she has gone through a lot.

I knew her eyes were full of sadness that her mouth never got the chance to say.

I saw the sadness in her eyes but i didn't know what to say because i didn't know her or her story.

I didn't know what she's gone through. 

I couldn't think of anything to say that would take her pain away. 

Instead in my head i kept saying "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever that has caused a beautiful soul like yours this kind of sadness."

Weird feelings

Sometimes when I'm out surrounded by people 

I get this feeling 

A weird feeling 

Where i just can't wait to go home, into my room, lock the door and fall flat on my bed 

And when i do fall flat on my bed 

I let out  huge sigh of relief 

But then i get this uneasy suffocating feeling 

Where i feel like my heart is dropping and stomach is flipping 

A feeling where i just want to rip my skin of and cry 

Then i sit and think to myself why do i feel this way?

My day went well 

I mean nothings wrong 

But i think again and realise nothing is right either..

Siting in front of the mirror

I Smile

And stare at myself with tears in my eyes  

While crazy thoughts rush through my head 

I then tell myself I'm just tired i need some sleep 

But when i am on bed i realise I'm not tired 

Im just feeling empty 

I tell myself time will heal 

But if that was true 

Then i would've been better by now 

After all i just want someone to be there 

For them to tell me its going to be okay 

I want someone to fix me 

Because I'm tired of trying to fix myself 

I just want to feel….happy again 

To be saved and helped 

Cared and thought about 

Is that to much to ask for?

And i laid there with tears in my eyes 

Still wishing,hoping and fighting 

That tomorrow will be better

Please do leave a comment xx

Looks like you've lost me

My eyes don't light up when i hear someone mention your name. 
A smile isn't plastered across my face when i see your name flashing on my phone. 
I don't look for your face in the crowd anymore, nor do i wish to see it.
I don't get heart sinking feelings when i see you do things i hate. 
The way you act or treat me doesn't bother me anymore. 
I've stopped wasting my time on waiting for you to come back to me. 
It doesn't hurt me seeing you've moved on faster than expected, because that just gave me a reason to move on to. 
You don't get to me like you used to. 

Sorry for being harsh but now, you're just a memory in the back of my mind. 

A really bad memory. 

So don't be surprised the next time you walk past me or send me a text and i don't even bother glance your way or get a response. 

Im done killing myself and fighting the same old battle that i keep loosing. 

But no in reality, I'm not the looser. You are. 

I didn't lose someone that loved me, but on the other hand you lost a person that loved you beyond her limits. 

Now you have no one to blame but yourself. 

I gave you chances everyday. I gave you chances more than you deserved. But you went and messed it up every time. 

Now i walk around with the brightest smile on my face, and laugh louder than ever before. Couldn't care less about you anymore. 

Looks like you've lost me, bro.

Please leave a comment x