Weird feelings

Sometimes when I'm out surrounded by people 

I get this feeling 

A weird feeling 

Where i just can't wait to go home, into my room, lock the door and fall flat on my bed 

And when i do fall flat on my bed 

I let out  huge sigh of relief 

But then i get this uneasy suffocating feeling 

Where i feel like my heart is dropping and stomach is flipping 

A feeling where i just want to rip my skin of and cry 

Then i sit and think to myself why do i feel this way?

My day went well 

I mean nothings wrong 

But i think again and realise nothing is right either..

Siting in front of the mirror

I Smile

And stare at myself with tears in my eyes  

While crazy thoughts rush through my head 

I then tell myself I'm just tired i need some sleep 

But when i am on bed i realise I'm not tired 

Im just feeling empty 

I tell myself time will heal 

But if that was true 

Then i would've been better by now 

After all i just want someone to be there 

For them to tell me its going to be okay 

I want someone to fix me 

Because I'm tired of trying to fix myself 

I just want to feel….happy again 

To be saved and helped 

Cared and thought about 

Is that to much to ask for?

And i laid there with tears in my eyes 

Still wishing,hoping and fighting 

That tomorrow will be better

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